The countdown to the Big Day has begun. Soon, your buddy will exchange wedding vows with his lovely bride and embark upon a wonderful journey of fidelity, respectable behavior, and shared checking. But she hasn’t made an honest man out of him yet—and it’s your duty to help him say “so long” to singledom with an unforgettable spree of debauchery and mayhem: a bachelor party. And if you’re going to do this rite of passage right (while preserve everyone’s reputations), you and the boys will have the good sense to hold the festivities far from home—but where?
For starters, you should head for a place that will not only tolerate but encourage your premeditated sins: boozing, crazy late-night partying, and, of course, the hallowed tradition of paying to ogle boobs. Some grooms-to-be, however, actually want to do something during the day besides recover from the night before—and maybe pay someone’s bail. With all that in mind, here is our (highly subjective) list of the ten best destinations for a bachelorhood blow-out.
10. New York, New York
For a guy who wants to end his single days with a few VIP nights out on the town, don’t settle for just any big city, go to the big city: New York. Kick things off at an old-school saloon like McSorley’s, where beers are only served in pairs and women weren’t allowed in till 1970. Then fuel up for a long night with a red-meat dinner at Brooklyn’s Peter Luger’s—or your pick of grade-A steakhouses. For a different kind of New York strip, put a high-end “gentlemen’s club” like Scores (333 East 60 Street; 212.421.3600) on the itinerary, but don’t make it the finale—it’ll feel like a dead end. Instead, pony up for a bottle service reservation at a Manhattan club (and do so well in advance; without girls, you won’t get in anywhere besides a Knicks game), hire a limo, and dress the part, player. New York City Vacation Guide
9. Burning Man, Black Rock Desert, Nevada
If the bachelor is a fully-fledged freak of nature who isn’t impressed by the height of civilization, perhaps you should journey to the other end of the spectrum, and beyond. The Burning Man festival—held annually at the end of summer—does its best to defy description, but it’s a glorious Frankenstein’s monster of a party that combines a Halloween bash, a circus sideshow, a pagan jamboree, and a Tatooine spaceport. The week-long event takes place in the middle of the Nevada desert, where a growing horde of “burners” forms a well-organized tent city (last year the population approached 50,000). The downside is that you’ll be roughing it; even in rented RVs, it’d be a bachelor party beyond Thunderdome. Upsides include a functional Thunderdome you can compete in, numerous uninhibited sexy women, and true gonzo adventures. Burning Man requires effort, but it will blow your mind. Nevada Vacation Guide
8. Ibiza, Spain
Maybe your gang is a bunch of hard-core clubbers whose once-reliable wingman will soon have to trade club life for married life. If so, join the jet set and take him on a farewell clubbing bender in Ibiza. The island is the Mecca of dance clubs, drawing legions of young Europeans with its thumping siren song every summer. Ibiza’s fabled nightclubs have to be seen (and heard) to be believed. Space, for instance, is located under the airport’s flight path, so the outdoor dance floor’s high-decibel music is regularly drowned out by engine roar. The crowd greets it with cheers; more clubbers are joining the party. Another venue, the carnival-like Privilege, is simply the largest club in the world—it packs in 10,000. By the way, Ibiza is a beautiful Mediterranean gem. But if the scenery really matters to you, this club scene isn’t a smart choice. Ibiza Vacation Guide
7. Vancouver, Canada
Searching for an upscale playground where the bachelor partiers can burn through energy during the day as well as at night? Head north, young men, to seaside Vancouver, a hip, active town that combines metropolitan pleasures with outdoor recreation. The summers are warm, perfect for kayaking in the Burrard Inlet or tackling the hairy mountain bike trails on its north shore. In winter, you can plan an epic urban ski trip: Cypress Mountain, the snowboarding and freestyle skiing venue for the 2010 Winter Olympics, is just a half hour away. Or go for the gold at Whistler-Blackcomb, consistently ranked as the continent’s top ski resort. Since downtown Vancouver is a small peninsula, the group can walk between all the world-class restaurants, cool brewpubs, and bustling clubs on the neon-lit Granville Street strip. Stop by Brandi’s “show lounge” (5Flr-595 Hornby Street; 604.684.2000) but make sure the bachelor doesn’t get too cozy with the dancers. The place is famous for removing Ben Affleck from Bennifer. Vancouver Vacation Guide
6. Paradise Island, Bahamas
To mix some sand and sun into the fun, take a quick flight to the aptly named Paradise Island in the Bahamas. The exclusive Atlantis megaresort is the small island’s main destination, offering a long curve of white-sand beach, calm turquoise waters, and a wide range of accommodations. Atlantis’ recent addition, The Cove, is a posh adults-only resort within the resort that caters to the young and trendy with a top-notch dance club and poolside gambling. The gang can also hit the casino and tap into the island’s James Bond vibe (parts of Casino Royale and Thunderball were filmed there) or shed all maturity and ride the waterslides in the 141-acre Aquaventure park. But the best aquatic attractions are offshore: deep-sea fishing, introductory scuba dives, or, for the certified divers, crazy wall dives and Shark Week in 3-D. Bahamas Vacation Guide
5. Oktoberfest, Munich, Germany
Looking for a last hurrah that involves beer, more beer, and… lots more beer? In that case, gird thy livers for Oktoberfest, Munich’s annual 16-day über-kegger. The original Beerfest (since 1810) now draws over seven million thirsty chuggers from across the globe who pound more than a million gallons of bier. Once the mayor taps the first barrel, the marathon drinking begins inside huge semi-permanent tents where foxy fräuleins sporting low-cut dirndls serve local Bavarian beers by the liter, not the pint (Hell ja metric system!). Outside in the 100-acre fairground, the group can chow down on sausages and pretzels or experience amusement park rides whilst blitzed. If you can’t make it to the German real deal, which ends on the first Sunday of October, consider one of its stateside cousins such as Cincinnati’s raging Oktoberfest Zinzinnati. Munich Vacation Guide
4. Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Remember that promise you made to yourself about visiting Rio one day? Well, a bachelor party is an ideal time to make good on it. The city’s attractions are obvious: sun-soaked tropical beaches, wild knockout girls in dental-floss bikinis, and a high-energy party atmosphere. Although Rio’s four-day Carnaval is the craziest celebration on the planet, it probably isn’t a good setting for a bachelor party; counterintuitively, it’s quite stressful for dabbling vacationers. Make Rio a safe, worry-free journey by keeping to the oceanside neighborhoods of Ipanema, Leblon, and Copacabana. These adjacent areas feature Rio’s familiar postcard beaches, along with the best social scene, day or night. No Portuguese? No problem. Brazil’s approachable young women—AKA Victoria’s Secret farm team—are taking up English in growing numbers. And even those who know just a few English words will find a way to make flirtatious conversation with a charming gringo. Rio de Janeiro Vacation Guide
3. New Orleans, Louisiana
Boozing? Check. Crazy late-night partying? Check. Boob-ogling? Check and double-check. Mardi Gras is one of the best options for a bachelor party and probably the least complicated to plan. Just reserve rooms in the French Quarter, show up, and step outside—the Big Easy will take care of the rest. But a little effort, like choosing real costumes before the last minute, goes a long way. After a few deep immersions in Bourbon Street’s flood of drunken, bead-hungry souls, don’t just watch the parades, join one. Head to the nearby Marigny neighborhood early on Fat Tuesday to romp along with the informal walking krewe that gathers there. And since no trip is complete without music, get funky at an authentic Nawlins joint like the original Tipitina’s. Or, do the bachelor party during Jazzfest…or Halloween, or whenever. The good times roll all year. New Orleans Vacation Guide
2. Montreal, Canada
Scouring a map of Europe for a trendy city that blends Old-World style with a wild Yankee bar scene? Wrong continent—head north to Montreal. The city’s college student population rivals Boston’s, and it’s dense, urban east side is loaded with bars and clubs. The Rue St-Laurent features a long stretch of nightspots with a non-snobby French flavor. Also known as The Main, Rue St-Laurent divides Montreal’s French- and English-speaking areas, but don’t worry about a language barrier; the city is bilingual. On the Anglo side, pub-crawl down Crescent Street and during summer—the best time to visit Montreal—kick it at the nearby Hôtel de la Montange’s rooftop pool bar. Guys returning from bachelor parties held in Montreal eagerly share triumphant tales, absolutely all of which begin at strip clubs like Chez Parée, the Kamasutra, or the not-so-subtly-named Club SuperSexe. Montreal Vacation Guide
1. Las Vegas, Nevada
It may seem like an obvious choice, but the truth is that Sin City’s glitz outshines all competition: rocking nightclubs, high-stakes gambling, shameless sexy strippers, Siegfried and Roy! Okay, Vegas makes its share of mistakes, but the town is all about lapses in judgment—make sure yours aren’t intentional. Some casinos are buzz kills, even as merely cheap places to crash (I’m looking at thee, Excalibur). And if you go unprepared to the hottest clubs (like Tryst, Tao, and Pure), you’ll face near-impossible odds of getting your stag crew past the velvet ropes. Instead, bed down at any reasonably-priced hotel at the center of the strip, and then put in the fix by hiring a connected party host who can plan out your entire night—from transportation to setting up a five-star meal to escorting you to a bottle-service table right by the dance floor. The price will be steep (starting at $200 to $250 per person), but it covers all your drinks, limo transport, and VIP service. Just beware of shady party planners that openly advertize online—they typically push partiers into clubs for kickbacks. Instead, ask the hotel concierge for recommendations, or go with a long-established outfit like702VIP, who’s been in the hosting service for six years. During the day (if you’re still functional), go for a helicopter ride out to the Grand Canyon, or just stay local by renting one of the poolside cabanas at a casino (almost all of them have ’em)—it’s the preferred afternoon habitat for bachelorette parties. Then tell a future bridesmaid how you struck it rich by inventing the highlighter. Who cares? It’s Vegas. Las Vegas Vacation Guide